Question: How do you tell if a raccoon is overweight?

Answer: When it sounds as if a herd of elephants is crashing through your attic but there is only one startled raccoon glaring at you when you peak through the attic door.

Oh, well, the ammonia has been strategically placed, the attic light is on, and the Prodigal Son is going to put the radio we bought last night into the attic so the 'coons can listen to what passes for talk radio at a decibel level that would drive me out of the neighborhood never mind the house. With any luck, they'll be gone by Tuesday and we can replace the grate again until the next time momma 'coon rips it out to have her babies in my attic.

The Raccoon Gallery